Evidently

I've been painting.

You might have to wait a while to see the results of this latest effort though.

I've had another one of my BIG ideas.

A + B + (X x Z) = T

If A = new job and B = dreaded lurgy
then X = car broken down and Z = day-to-day responsibility

so T can only = THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY

Stay tuned for next week when we add C = 3 day business trip and Y = market stall.

Roll up! Roll up! Visit Made n' Thornbury on Saturday 5th September and see the spectacular Tinniegirl spontaneously combust.

An Apple A Day

Woo hoo!

Wrapped In The Arms Of Community

You know I LOVE Kelly Rae Roberts. I have an enormous blog crush on her. When I came across her art, blog and story in early 2008 it was like finding a missing piece of myself. It was one of those magic a-ha moments. In fact I have to credit her for unknowingly being a huge influence on me starting my blog and taking the leap into being an artist. To think that in just 6 short months I'll be spending 3 amazing days at a workshop taught by her and Mati Rose.

Through Kelly Rae I discovered Andrea at Superhero Journal, another woman who I added to my daily dose of inspiration. I recently signed up for Mondo Beyondo, an online class about dreaming big, run by Andrea and another super-inspiring woman, Jen Lemen.

When I read Andrea and Kelly Rae's posts about their recent Lovebomb encounters it tugged at my heartstrings and tapped into a longing that I couldn't quite place. I felt a rawness as I read about their time spent dancing, laughing, painting and connecting. I wanted to be there, to be a part of it. To be wrapped in the arms of community.


Today when I was re-reading Andrea's post I found the words that made it all fall into place.

"It is an extraordinary group of women ... We are all different, but share a few important things in common: A commitment to authenticity, growth, and telling our stories. We are all on a journey toward a deep knowing of who we are, of recognizing our gifts, of bringing our own special kind of medicine to the world."

Andrea Scher

I am a woman on a journey. Above all else I want to live an authentic life. I want to know myself fully. I want to tell my story. I want to share my unique gifts with the world.


But there's more. I want to travel the road with souls who are on the same journey. This passion for authenticity and for connecting with kindred spirits has been with me for as long as I can remember. It's often stood me apart from people who prefer the safety of the superficial to the risk of real relationships. It's caused me to question myself and lose my way time and time again. It's left me lonely on both the superficial and that deeper level many times.

Now, though, things are shifting. Every day brings growth and a realisation of who I am, who I've always been and where I'm headed. The best bit of all this is that it feels so right. I am coming into my own.

Imagine if we had our very own Australian Lovebomb? How cool would that be?

Timing Is Everything

Thanks Australia Post, and MixTape. Just in time for lunch.

Speaking of timing, on Sunday Tinnies and Woollies will become extinct. I'm definitely not coming back this way. If you want one, you know where to go.

Favouritism

"the practice of giving unfair preferential treatment to one person or group (or artwork) at the expense of another"

I can't help it. I'm completely taken by these little pieces.

They'll be at Made n' Thornbury on September 5th. Hope you will be too.

One Down

This sweet angel and her lovely companions will be making their debut at the Made n' Thornbury market in just over 2 short weeks. I've got some stitching and gluing to do. Oh, and a new full time job to get my head around, a 3 day trip to Sydney and a whole other series of collages that have hit a major snag half way through.

OK, Breathe, embrace the busyness and follow the shining lead of this awesome super woman.

I Like

Icecream on a rainy day
Second breakfast
Cuddles with cats
Afternoon baths

Cosy

It's been a lumpy, bumpy ride these past few weeks and I'm enjoying the luxury of a little more time off before I start my new job on Thursday. Just a couple of days but it's enough to ground me.

I'm taking time away from the studio this week, and from feeling like I need to always be creating something. Sometimes I try to force things a little too hard. I get scared that if I don't push forward with all my energy and drive that I'll miss an opportunity. It always seems to happen after I have a break through. I get a glimpse of what the future might look like and I want to race toward it. It's so powerful and mesmerising, and it feels so right. I can't stand to wait another day. I want it to manifest immediately, and when it doesn't I get panicked. How do I make it happen? What should I be doing more of to get where I'm going quicker? How can I make sure that I don't lose my way?

Oh yes, I like the safety of the well signed road. But this journey is not written yet. This story is unfolding day by day.

I'm learning, slowly and continuously, about letting go. About letting the journey unfold in it's own good time. I don't have to do it all alone. I don't have to have all the answers or know exactly what comes next. I just have to trust that I know where I'm heading and leave the universe to take care of some of the detail. That's what I'm working on at the moment. Leaving some of the detail to the universe.

It's a gorgeous grey old day in Melbourne town today. One of those days that feels peaceful and that lends itself to curling up on the couch with a good book or some craft, some tasty snacks and a cosy blanket.

It's a cosy kind of day. Cosy days are good days. Today is a good day.

And Finki Was Her Name

The winner is Finki. Get in touch with your address Jay and I'll pop your new birdie in the post to you.

I'm definitely planning on making some more of these for the market and the Etsy shop. Stay tuned.

Oh, and don't forget to get yourself a Tinnie or a Woollie before the 23rd August when they'll cease to exist.

Opportunity Knocks

Indeed there is an upside to computer meltdowns, having to replace your hard drive and losing 2 years worth of data. You figure why stop at a hard drive and external drive, and purchase a much desired copy of photoshop elements and start exploring new outlets for your creativity.

Oh, and you get to practice positive thinking and not getting too fussed about gorgeous photos that have been lost.

You've still got a little bit of time to enter the giveaway if you like. Why don't we make it noon tomorrow instead of midnight tonight.

Dangerous Liaisons

Oh yes, I'm a risk taker. Keeping the glue right next to my fresh brewed cup of coffee. I'm just looking for trouble.

Hi Honey, I'm Home

I'm back from the brink, the computer is back from it's meltdown and all is good in the world. In fact, apart from being $600 poorer I feel like something has so completely shifted since Monday that I may never be the same again.

It's a big call I know. It's like all the feelings of being stuck that I've been carrying for years have just dissipated. It's not that I've been at a standstill over that time but I've always felt like there was something that just wasn't falling into place and that I haven't been completely free to move forward.

Never underestimate the power of sharing your story. I thought that I was shifting a painful emotional situation and ended up moving a mountain.


Now my mind is full of big dreams and plans. I'm talking seriously big peeps! Things that have been repeatedly rising to the surface of my consciousness most of my life. It's like I'm starting to see that the dreams I had for myself when I was young and the dreams I have for myself now are just different manifestations of the same core ideas. What's more I know what I need to do to make them happen.

Anyway, I think a celebration is in order. If you'd like to win the stenciled painting in the picture above all you have to do is leave a comment by Sunday August 9 at midnight. I'll draw the winner on Monday. There's a catch though. You have to tell me one of your dreams. Big, small, old, new. I don't mind what shape it comes in, I just want to know what others dream of.

Honourable Thoughts

Thank you to everyone for your kind comments and emails on my last post. A tentative mouse hovering over the 'publish post' button is a frightening place at times.

I was thinking last night, that with truth comes honour. I feel like I've finally honoured myself, my friend and our relationship by being honest about it. To live our lives and our relationships wholly and completely is impossible without truth. I've been reminded of my passion for living a truthful life. Even when it involves taking risks, even when it involves stepping so far out of my comfort zone it's frightening.

I already feel lighter, more open and ready to move forward in the world. The seeds of plans and dreams are sprouting again. Here's to coming unstuck, in the best possible way.

The Awful, Ugly Truth

There are moments in life that define your existence. As an artist and a thinker I know that life is captured in the fine details. It's the small, seemingly irrelevant moments that forever shape and change you. The day you choose not to stop in at a friend's house not knowing you'll never see them again, the early morning text message that you think is spam, that changes your life forever.

Some of you might not know that about 4 months ago my best friend Jane died from cancer. I haven't said much about it here. An occasional reference to grief and an initial post when the shock of it hadn't even really hit.

The truth of the matter though is that I'm not doing very well at all. Every day is a struggle and as the months pass, it's getting worse and worse, and then still worse again. I've been getting out of bed every day and going about my business. I've been planting a smile on my face and saying the right things. For the most part I've even been convincing myself that I'm OK, that what I'm feeling is a natural part of the grieving process and that, given time, it will pass and I will heal.

There's so much more to the story though. The parts I deny to myself, let alone sharing the deep dark ugliness with anyone else. The truth is that my friend's life ended with us hardly even on speaking terms. There was an awful, painful argument about a year ago that was never quite resolved. The truth is that she was careless with my feelings and my friendship, and that she never said sorry once. The truth is that when we both needed a friend more than ever she turned on me and pushed me away out of anger and confusion, and perhaps fear and pain. The truth is that this chapter of our story can never end differently now, and that blaming the dead is an exercise in futility. The truth is that the dead leave behind their mistakes and that forgiveness is hard to find, even when you know that there is nothing else to be done. The truth is that even when you do what you have to do it can come at a very expensive price. The truth is that guilt and regret go hand in hand with death. Life is excruciating sometimes.

At heart I am a truth teller. I tell what I see even when it's uncomfortable or at my own expense. It's got me in trouble plenty of times but it's how I've always been and it's what I do best. Holding this story inside me has come at a high cost. It's made both my body and my mind ill. It's tarnished every aspect of my life with it's ugly stain. I've raged against it, pushed myself to breaking point trying to focus on other things, tried so hard to move my life over, under or around this hurdle. Finally I realise I can't hide from the truth. It's the only thing that sets me free.

Happy 40th Jane.

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It seems our hard drive is kaput. Apparently what's happened is sometimes referred to as the 'white screen of death'. So I may or may not be around much at the moment. It's feels like good timing in a strange way - a chance for some time out and a little restoration of the soul. Not that I'm wishing to lose 2 years worth of photos, files, music, etc (yep, if you don't back up your computer go and do something about it now - it can happen to anyone when you least expect it).

You can still purchase Tinnies and Woollies over in the shop prior to August 23rd. I'll be checking for and shipping orders, by hook or by crook.

Can't

Blog STOP Computer broke STOP See you soon STOP

A Photo a Day in August

I'm joining Megan at The Byron Life for A Photo a Day in August. I've been needing a little inspiration kick, and this seems like a nice one.


These are backgrounds for a new series of work called 'Suburbia'. They're the collaborative pieces that I'm working on with CurlyPops and will eventually be painted and then covered in beautiful bright flowers and other lovely things you might find in a suburban garden. They'll be ready for Made n' Thornbury next month.

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You might like to know that the last of the Tinnies, and the limited edition Woollies, will only be hanging around until Sunday 23rd August. After that time is going to be limited for a while so I've had to prioritise things. Besides I'm feeling like I need a nice sense of closure on the Tinnies. Anyway, now you've got a timeframe. Get yourself a Tinnie or a Woollie before the 23rd, or before everyone else gets them.

Right, off to check out some markets with my crafty-partner-in-crime.