Like A Woman Posessed

Mania
"showing wild and apparently deranged excitement and energy"
"frenetically busy; frantic"

Work in progress

Recipe

• 4 parts hot nights
• 2 parts busy brain
• 1 part inability to sleep
• A generous pinch of too much excitement about upcoming overseas trip

Serve with a painting that captures your soul and calls to you in the dark hours of night

Not Monet, Manart

I showed a colleague a picture of the Journey painting I made, and after saying how much he liked it I offered to make him a painting of his own.

I've never made art specifically for a guy, and so I present to you my first piece of MANart.

Steely Determination - Acrylics, impasto medium and words on canvas

I'm love, love, loving this messy, free painting. It's so much fun to do and I'm so happy with the results I'm getting. Every painting is an exploration, a risk, an adventure. I now look at everything I touch and think 'could I paint with this? What kind of pattern would it make?'

Ok, back to the studio. I've got another piece on the go already.

Are you coming out to craft on Thursday night?

8 sleeps peeps. 8 sleeps. An Artful Journey awaits.

Remembering, A Room Without A View

Image source - sosnews.org

I spent Black Saturday at Amitie Upstairs with the Thornbury Craft Bonanza.

The upstairs craft room at Amitie is a strange little space. It has only one tiny window high up on a wall. While temperatures soared to 47c (over 115 degrees Fahrenheit) we sat in air-conditioned comfort. I looked out through that tiny little window throughout the day and remember thinking how strange the sky looked, quite apocalyptic I recall.

While we chatted, snacked and stitched, people fought for their survival. People lost their homes, their lives, their families, everything they cared about. Not to mention the loss and suffering of animals and the forests.

I'm always shocked that life can and does go on as normal while people around us are confronted by the greatest struggles, the most gruesome tragedies, the deepest losses.

The world is incredibly large and yet our worlds are so incredibly small. Sometimes I wonder if we can ever truly understand the suffering of others.

However, we can and do remember.

Some Observations For Today

Extract from my notebook - January 15th 2008

Some Observations For Today
{not for blogging, just for me}

• No matter how down I feel I can still be awakened, warmed, heartened by things I see in nature - new growth on a plant, a bird in flight.
• True happiness does not always seem an impossibility
• I long for a sense of peace but perhaps need to redefine the notion
• My cats fill my soul with peace, joy, happiness and love
• Louise is the best friend I could ever wish for
• I can't understand the need or purpose for blogging

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How that last point makes me laugh. It was true at the time though. I just didn't get blogging. But yet, somehow, I knew that I so desperately wanted to be a part of it.

Tomorrow marks my two year blogiversary. What a journey I've taken since my first doubtful post.

My observations for today
{for the blog, not just for me}

• I dig birds and trees
• I am more at peace and closer to being truly happy than I have been in a very long time
• BigCat and little cat you make my heart sing
• Ms L is always the best friend I could ever wish for
• Blogging has brought me true friendship, community, trust, joy, belief, hope, creativity, opportunity, confidence and warmth
  
• Blogging gives my life meaning and purpose

I am so grateful that blogging found me. I am so thankful for all of you who have joined me on this journey. I am so eager to see what the next 12 months of blogging will bring.

The Signs Were There

Installation - Heffernan Lane, Melbourne

Things were starting to come unstuck on Sunday. I wasn't fully conscious of it at the time, but I think on some level I could feel the balance starting to tip.

The lists started taking over. There were at least 5 or 6 of them pushing and pulling me all over the place. Sleep was replaced by a busy brain with a good dose of tossing and turning, and the heat played havoc with everything.

When the meltdown came last night, it was a beauty.

This living of dreams is not for the faint hearted.

12 sleeps peeps. 12 sleeps.

Philosophy 101

Installation - Heffernan Lane, Melbourne*

The countdown is on. It's really on. 13 sleeps peeps. 13 sleeps. Are you counting the sleeps with me?

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*I have no idea what this installation is about, who created it or how long it will be there. I often wander through Melbourne's laneways rather than sticking to the main streets. There it was presenting itself to me. A laneway filled with signs and words. Just the reminder I need right now. Keep the balance Tinniegirl. SURRENDER.

SURRENDER

"It's tempting to think & think & think, thinking that this will lead to some place of peace and resolution. When in fact the opposite is the case - peace and resolution are found when we learn not to think & think & think, and just BE!" (CPK 31/1/08)

Two years ago today I penned that quick thought. Right now is one of those classic trigger times where overthinking can easily take hold. I'm busy at work, busy at home, busy getting ready for the trip. There are a plenty of lists to manage, things to be done and thoughts to be thunk. I'm excited beyond words and full of nervous energy. All too easily these various factors can combine and lead to a total meltdown.

Today, in the face of that multitude of things to do, I stayed in my PJ's most of the day, baked some bread, pottered in the studio and ordered the groceries online. I left the gym for another day and now I'm curled up on the couch for a night of TV.

I think I'm finally starting to understand what it is to just BE.

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I did manage to find a minute to put my recent collages in the shop. They're there now if you're interested, including lots of pictures of the fine details.

Just A Thought

Maybe I/You/We can have My/Your/Our cake and eat it too

Maybe happiness is a possibility

Maybe everything is working out for the best

Maybe it's all going according to plan

Maybe I/You/We will conquer My/Your/Our fear and self-doubt

Do you ever think this way?

Today

Affirmation cards from The Creative Beast

grounding myself in messages that wonderful souls have sent me.

looking forward to surrounding myself with more creativity and serenity
tonight at the Northern Craft Bonanza.

trying to follow the lead of {the penny has dropped} and tell fear where to go.

Gorgeous print from 74 Lime Lane - a beautiful surprise gift from Kellie

What Are You Hungry For?

Hunt - Acrylics, CurlyPops crazy stitching, paper, vintage doilies and embroidery on canvas

Me? Today?
Certainty
Confidence
Courage
Guidance
A sign
A chance
To be seen

Some days I'm the keeper of wishes and dreams
and other days I'm full of fear and self-doubt.
I feel so incredibly human.

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Ms L randomly picked a winner for the collage giveaway. The "wish" collage is going to It's The Things That Make You Go Mmmm. I think somewhere deep inside her subconscious she knew it was meant for her. First she left a comment without a wish, then she came back and left a wish, and then she even went so far as to do her own blog post about it. Isn't that magic? Get in touch Susan.

Things I'm Diggin'

New blog finds

I Saw You Dancing a new blogger and kindred spirit. I connected with her ideas and words immediately. The best bit of the story is that The Creative Beast, who lives in LA, introduced us, and we live in North Fitzroy and Thornbury. How cool is that?

{the penny has dropped} I adore this blog. My love affair first began when I saw her letter to her fear.

pepper stitches I just discovered this blog today and it's choc full of so much good stuff.

Project Play 365 Megan's photography blows my mind. Check out this picture.

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The Northern Craft Bonanza. We're getting together this Thursday night if you're around and want to get crafty with us. Details here.

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Painting. I can't get enough of painting at the moment. I feel like I've really found my stride recently. I've been working on these 3 pieces since the new year and I love the way they turned out. I'm planning to put them in my Etsy shop sometime this week.

Shine - Acrylic paint, collage papers and vintage tablecloth on canvas

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Surrender - Acrylic paint, collage papers and vintage tablecloth on canvas

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Grow - Acrylic paint, collage papers and vintage tablecloth on canvas

If you're interested in purchasing one I'm selling them for $55 AUD or $50 US plus postage (around $10 -$15 for postage, depending on your location). They measure 8 x 24 inches If you'd like to buy one and pay by direct deposit then get in touch by email (tinniegirl(at)optusnet(dot)com(dot)au. Otherwise look out for them in the shop soon.

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Catching up with my crafty-partner-in-crime tomorrow

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Keeping wishes and dreams safe and warm. I'll announce the giveaway winner tomorrow. Last chance to pop your wish in the comment box if you haven't already done so.

Sometimes We All Need A Little...

Happy Saturday to you

Can't Wait To Meet You

Did you know it's only 25 days till I'll be sitting on a plane. 25 DAYS. Oh my goodness, that's so wonderfully, fabulously close. Don't worry I've already got a few lists in the making - things to pack, travel arrangements to organise, places to visit, gifts to take, things to buy and bring home for Ms L.

What's more, in just 27 days I'll be checking-in to An Artful Journey, I'll be meeting Monica and Chrissy and Mrs Spotts for the first time, I'll be introducing myself to the amazing box of art supplies above, that I ordered through Dick Blick and shipped to Monica to transport for me. I'll be meeting Kelly Rae Roberts, and spending 3 days learning her painterly, collaging ways. In 27 days I'll be living a dream.

I love remembering how I got here. On a whim and a prayer I signed up for the retreat and was allocated a spot. If you have a moment go and read what I wrote at the time. There is so much to be said for intention, for putting it out there, for trusting.

My next wish is to work out a way to take the laptop away with me, so I can blog along my journey. Apple, you don't want to give us one of your fabulous, shiny, new 21.5 inch iMac's by chance?

Did you know that I'm collecting wishes and dreams? You can pop over to this post and deposit your wish. I'll keep it safe, and warm, and well fed for you. Oh, I love wishes and dreams. I like being the keeper of such important things.

There's even a collage up for grabs for anyone who drops a wish in the comment box before Sunday night.

You're Kidding Me Right?

I had to share this little gem. This is what my computer had to say to me this morning when I was prompted to change my password:

"The password supplied does not meet the minimum complexity requirements. Please selection another password that meets all of the following criteria:

• is at least 7 characters;
• has not been used in the previous 24 passwords;
• must not have been changed within the last 0 days;
• does not contain your account or full name;
• contains at least 3 of the following four character groups:

1. english uppercase characters (A through Z)
2. english lowercase characters (a through z)
3. numerals (0 through 9)
4. non-alphabetic characters (such as !,$,#,%)

Type a password which meets these requirements in both text boxes."

I'll give you !$#% alright. I nearly had to turn around and go home.

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Don't forget to drop your wish in the comment box for the chance to win a collage. I like being the keeper of wishes. It feels, to me, to be a very worthy cause.

Lists Are Good

You got me thinking when I posted A List Of Big And Small Things a week or so ago. Was my list really too big? Too ambitious? Was I setting myself up for failure?

The thing I started to wonder about mostly was the nature of my list. When I wrote the list, I never thought about it the way I'd think of a 'to do' list. It was much more fluid than that.

There's some things on that list that I know will definitely happen. For example, the fact that I'm on an employment contract with an end date means that I'll definitely have to get a new job. Whether or not the new job is fulfilling, rewarding and enjoyable as my list states remains to be seen. I'm certainly working on understanding what I need, to increase my chances of finding what I'm looking for. My upcoming trip to the USA is another definite, and I'm pretty confident I'll have a fabulous time.

There are some things on the list that are goals. Like reading 13 books, and seeing my Mum more often. Losing 30kgs. These are pretty specific and I've worked out plans to achieve them. Again, things won't always go to plan, but I'm putting the things in place to give them the best chance.

Then there's the dreams, the wishes, the intentions. The things I hope for, the things I want to manifest. I don't really hold myself accountable for these. I just want to put them out there, to say to the universe 'these are the things I hope for myself and maybe they are meant to be'. These are the loose kinds of lists, the Mondo Beyondo kind. Things like take a trip to Port Douglas, writing a novel, move to a bright, spacious new house close to parks and the city, and spend NYE in Thailand. It will probably take a little bit of magic to make these happen.

At the end of the year I'll look back on the list and I'll reflect. I'll note the things that happened and those that didn't. I'll explore the year and all that it offered me. I'll take the position of an observer rather than an accountant. In doing so, I'll actually achieve one of the things on my list - 'Be kind, patient, trusting, understanding and calm with myself'.

But I'll tell you a little something. Sometimes the magic of a list is the willingness to dream, to wish, to hope. Sometimes the act of putting your intention out there is what brings your dreams closer to you. Sometimes you have to be willing to tell the Universe 'this is what I wish for, can you help me?.

So, how about you? Is there something you wish could happen this year? Why don't you write it here in the comments, and I'll be the keeper of your wish. Everyone who drops a wish in the comment box by Sunday night will go in the draw to win this collage.

Maps, acrylic paints, CurlyPops crazy stitching and assorted textiles on canvas