What can I add to the reports of my crafty posse? How about I tell you about waking up on Saturday morning to the sound of women chatting and laughing, and thinking to myself that there's something so magical about the company of women. How I'm always amazed by the space that's created when women get together away from their daily lives and obligations. When we stop being partners, mothers, corporate girls, worker bees, carers, nurturers (not that we ever truly stop being all or some of those things).
Those rare moments when we just stop. And Be. Ourselves. I love that space. The space that women occupy together. It seems so ancient and so much bigger than any of us. It makes me feel privileged and lucky to be a part of it.
It makes me feel passionate about seeking ways to create more of those opportunities for myself and other women. That's a dream in progress, that one.
I was there laughing and chatting on the weekend but I was absent too. I'm finding that a lot at the moment. Wherever I am, I'm never quite there. Part of me is always locked away with my grief. Part of me is lost in the past, trying to understand and let go. I'm trying to find my way back, to start moving forward again but it's hard work. Some days I can hardly speak the pain is so overwhelming. I've said it before, the only cure for grief is time. Do I dare wish away time?
Don't wish away time. You might inadvertently wish away a moment of joy mixed in there and they are precious. Grief has a way of sneaking up on you and like a wave, washes back out.
ReplyDeleteYour gathering of women sounds like heaven.
i know what you mean....
ReplyDeleteWho am I to stick my nose in here - what do I know? Only that those rare moments of 'stopping' and 'being' are gold. As are dreams in progress.
ReplyDeleteYes we women do create a certain kind of energy when we get together for any kind of circle.
ReplyDeleteSorry you're feeling those waves of grief but the waves clean the soul. Hugs to you.
don't wish away that time at all, you need it, you need to grieve... how long you need will be impossible to guess... juat appreciate those special litle moments like this one, they will help you cope... :)
ReplyDeletehugs,
emma
x
Thank you for your honest, personal and beautiful thoughts, they touched me. May 'this' day bring you joy, take each day as it comes.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't happen very often, but I don't know what to say (errr type).
ReplyDeleteI do think it's true that the only cure is time, and it will always be different for all of us. I believe crafting also helps. Sending virtual hugs.
While you may feel that you aren't all in a moment, from what little I know you, you come across as one of the most real and genuine people. I am sure it will that feeling will come back to you eventually too, when it needs too.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, time is the answer, so it is wonderful that some of your time is spent so well, with such great crafty friends....
ReplyDeleteJust give yourself time. best wishes and virtual hugs coming your way
ReplyDeleteI'm absolutely with you on both fronts. The company of women - especially in the ancient 'sewing circle" context - is one I'm lucky enough to encounter regularly in my work - and a weekend at Sewjourn is a magical immersion in it. On grief - I feel the same as you. It's with me and there's not much I can do but let it ebb and flow. It hits at strange times. Life is a weird mix, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt's normal to want to wish away time. But keep doing what you are doing. Surround yourself with lovely people, be absorbed in what you and others are doing. Distractions can be your best friend.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I'm offering you big hugs.
Sending you big hugs in this virtual sense. I understand the feelings you describe. Being absent in a room of other people is a lonely thing and can be so hard. Lovely to have spent this time in the company of so many beautiful women. XX
ReplyDeleteI love how you are always thinking and looking and connecting (even if you feel you're not). It was a special weekend, and sometimes being there but not there is a way to spin and enjoy, while letting something painful like your grief slip through into wherever it will (eventually) settle in you. There are hard days and there are good days: moments of joy are in there, too.
ReplyDeleteA gathering of women so often opens the heart a bit wider.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you.
x
I love this post. Because it is true. I think that women are so busy being so many things to others that we forget about what it is like to wake up in the morning to the chatter of other women and the joy of not having to plan one meal or do one load of washing. Pure heaven.
ReplyDeleteYour weekend sounds wonderful, rejuvenating, and re-grounding. Perhaps the grief feels worse when you're closer to feeling grounded? Closer to earth, to reality?
ReplyDeleteHaving suggested that, please don't leave. Don't float away. While your feet are on the ground (or all fours) you can at least start stepping, or running towards the future. A place where things don't feel so bad, so raw, so awful.
Stay. Keep putting one foot infront of the next, and you'll get there.
HUGS to you .xxxxx.
one day at a time, feel what you are feeling just go with it.You are on this path for a reason my love, hang in there.Take what you need from those around you, you sound like you have some amazing connections:)love fi xo
ReplyDeleteThe opportunity to just be me (I'd almost forgotten that person!) was incredibly precious. Thank you ... from the bottom of my heart, Cathy. You are a very special and perceptive person, which I suspect makes the grief that little bit more intense. May the passage of time bring you comfort and fill the voids in your heart with precious memories.
ReplyDeleteLiesl xx
i love reading about your thoughts - sounds like you had a wonderful weekend...gathering woman to pursue their creativeness sounds like an awesome plan!
ReplyDelete