{tinniegirl}: dreaming

Showing posts with label dreaming. Show all posts

Monday, May 12, 2014

{the decision}

First came the decision. To reclaim my life. To accept that while things might continue to happen to me, things I don't like, didn't ask for and don't deserve, that in spite of this, or perhaps because of it, I'm determined to get back the pieces of my life that have been missing for so long. That even though the crap might keep on happening I do have a choice about where I focus my energy. And where I want to focus my energy is on the things that are going to move me forward in life, not keep me stuck in the shit-storm.

Things like painting, making and blogging - I want to be doing lots more of those good things again.
Healthy stuff - riding my bike, cooking, sleeping well, working on personal goals.
Getting out of the house more. It feels like I've been cooped up for so long.
Hanging out with friends and creative peeps - I've recently returned to the Northern Craft Bonanza {NCB}, which I founded in 2009, after a very long hiatus.
Making plans for the future - it's felt impossible to do anything but put one foot in front of the other for most of the last 12 months.
Remembering/relearning how to be a dreamer again. When you're living in a shit-storm you forget how to dream. Having hope starts to feel too risky.

And then once I'd made the decision, almost immediately something shifted. I'm of course wondering if by changing my attitude everything feels different, but there really does seem to have been some subtle environmental shift. The clould that's been hanging over my life for so long seems to have moved ever so slightly. Things feel easier, I've been enjoying moments of synchronicity and interesting little messages from the universe.

I don't know if life is going to settle down. I hope so. But it certainly feels like something, somehow has shifted. And that, my friends, is a damn good thing.

Friday, February 28, 2014

{intentions and aspirations}

Another Time, Another Place

Acrylics and mixed-media on canvas

14 x 14 inch

When it comes to setting goals I'm not one of those people that plans things out in minute detail with measurable outcomes and timelines and all that jazz. I've never, ever had a 5 year plan!

Over time I've found a way that works for me - a part dreamer, part planner kind of approach if you will. I know that the evidence says that you have to be more concrete than this otherwise you won't achieve things or won't know what you've achieved. And it's probably why there's a number of things that I've been wanting to achieve for a long time now that I haven't. On the other hand there's things that I've put out there that were just giant dreams and they have come to fruition. Like I said, it works for me.

This year though I've found it impossible to put my mind to setting any goals at all. I think it has a lot to do with last year and all the craziness. If there's one thing that last year taught me it's that life is so completely unpredictable. You can make all the goals and plans in the world, but if the universe has a different plan for you, well watch out and hang on as best you can.

It feels really strange to be without something more tangible than some good intentions and aspirations. I almost feel a bit lost without my list. But I think I'm going to sit with it for while and see what happens this year. I'll keep you posted.

Happy weekend peeps.

Monday, April 30, 2012

{delicate things}

New mini originals

Acrylics and mixed-media on canvas

3 x 3 1/2 inches

I've been thinking a lot about dreams. How delicate they can be. How important it is to treat them with kindness and care, nurture them, feed them and sometimes give them space.

As someone who can be inclined towards the relentless pursuit of dreams I'm really enjoying a softer, gentler approach to dreaming at the moment. Interestingly it seems to be creating a lot more forward movement than ever before.

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These teeny tiny originals will be hitting my Etsy shop tomorrow, along with a new batch of affirmation cards and lots of new prints.

Friday, March 23, 2012

{a gentler kind of dreaming}

A good friend always talks about the opportunities that lie in darkness. How often when we reach that point of collapse there is something new that becomes apparent. It's what I know to be true too, but it's always good to be reminded of these things. What I've realised this time is that I've been doing this now for years. Working towards dreams and aspirations with such a sometimes emotional, sometime physical, furious intensity, until I completely fall apart. I've been doing this for years!!!

Having just realised how long I've been doing this for I'm also realising how ingrained it has become into my way of being, and how extremely unhealthy it is. No doubt there are times when you have to push, and times when you do have to fall apart, but I have finally come to understand that living in a constant self-inflicted cycle of hope and despair is completely unnecessary and is really just another form of self-sabotage.

Right now I'm practicing a much gentler kind of dreaming and doing. I'm catching myself in those moments when inspiration and excitement start sliding into mental to-do lists, driving senses of urgency and relentless pursuit of goals. I'm catching myself on that cusp and I'm saying no, to both the high and the low. I'm realising that I can actually choose balance.

I have such great hopes and dreams for my life. I want to bring every single one of them to life. I'm interested to see if this gentler kind of dreaming isn't perhaps the key to unlocking it all.

It feels big and new to me, and infinitely more sustainable!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

{making plans}

I absolutely love new year. I love reflecting on the year that's been and dreaming and planning for the year ahead. I have to admit I'm excited for this year to be over too. It's been a tough one. It feels like that's really shifting though and I'll be glad to put this year to rest and leap into the new one.

I've seen some good resources around if you want to dive deep into the process of reflection and planning.

Susannah Conway has a free 16 page downloadable workbook to help "unravel your year ahead and say farewell to the year behind". It looks fantastic. Grab it here.

The ever inspiring Andrea Scher also has a free worksheet for you to download over here. This is her original Mondo Beyondo end of year ritual and I love it.

I've been reading through my archives as part of my process and found a couple of posts on how I think about writing new year's lists. You can find them here and here.

I've been thinking about my word for the year too. Another ritual that I love. I was reading this post last night about how I found my word for 2011. And Liz Lamaroux has a great post over at Roots of She about embracing a word for the year.

All this stuff gets me so excited and energised. I am a dreamer and soul searcher at heart.

Did I tell you that Louise Gale and I have been working on some super-secret-squirrel business that is going to rock your new year? Stay tuned for a big announcement on January 3rd.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

{how to have a really great holiday}

Wear your PJ's more than any other outfit
Read a book in one day
Go on spontaneous winery tours
Walk for hours on end
Get lost
Have no plans
Eat delicious and healthy food
Dream, both day and night
Let go of all expectations
Be delighted by everything
Make friends with echidnas & kookaburras

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2 sleeps till Blogtoberfest! 2 sleeps peeps!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

{escape plans - part II}

Dreaming of a solid escape plan now. It feels pretty damn exciting.

Monday, July 18, 2011

{it's true}

These words from my friend, fellow artist and blogger Tracy Verdugo resonated so strongly with me yesterday I had to write them down and carry them with me. A reminder that yes, sometimes all things seem possible, and indeed how wonderful it feels when that happens. Don't you agree?

EDITED TO ADD: These words actually from Lewis Carroll via Tracy. Thanks for letting me know Ronnie and Tracy.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

{how dreams come true}

I've had some wonderful reminders recently of how dreaming big can pay off, and how sometimes we don't have to do a single thing to make it happen.

I'd been thinking a little while back that I'd really like to have some photos of myself taken professionally. As my 40th came closer I was thinking that I'd really like to do that for my 40th. Then with everything else happening around my birthday I completely put it out of my mind. A week before my birthday I was invited by work to be photographed for the annual report this year, and to participate in a professional photo shoot to capture the images. The day after my birthday the photo above was taken!

One of the big dreams on the Mondo Beyondo list I wrote a couple of years ago was to have designers want me to wear their clothes. Last week, completely out of the blue, Finki asked me if she could sponsor my outfit for opening night of my exhibition. I found it so hard to say yes to this amazing act of kindness, to let myself receive this gift. If it hadn't been so perfectly aligned with one of my secret dreams I probably wouldn't have accepted it. But I couldn't deny the synchronicity of it, particularly after the photo thing happened the way it did.

Then, just yesterday I was approached with a tentative offer {very tentative at this stage} of having the rights to some of my work purchased. This was on the list of dreams for this year, and again was something that I just haven't had the time to follow up or think about.

It's really got me thinking in the best possible kind of way. You know how sometimes you think that in order to make dreams come true, first you have to be willing to dream big, and then you have to work your butt off to find ways to make it happen? Maybe that's not how you roll, but I've certainly been raised in the school of dream within your limits and work damn hard to make those small dreams real.

These experiences were so completely different to that. There was no planning, no lists, no consciousness whatsoever. They were simply dreams put out there into to the world, that manifested of their own accord. It has been such a strong reminder about letting go, and trusting, and all those things that I so passionately believe in. And about being really open and able to see when magic is happening.

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Gosh, I feel so rusty in this space at the moment. I'm missing my blog terribly and hoping that things will settle down now, and that I'll be able to be truly present in this space again. Be present is a big thing for me. I don't like to do things by halves.

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Speaking of being present, this evening I will be very much present at the opening night of Acts of Love. I am so excited. Everything is prepared and now it's time to crack open the bottles of bubbly and enjoy the achievement of my second solo exhibition. Hopefully I'll see you there. If not, hopefully I'll see you back here soon.

Acts of Love

Paintings by Cath Kirwan

Opening Night

Thursday June 16th 2011

7pm

Chair 14

167 Darebin Rd, Thornbury

ALL WELCOME

Saturday, January 8, 2011

{note to self}

One of the items on my big list is to write letters. I decided this week that the first person I'm going to write to is myself. I'm going to pour all my hopes and dreams, plans and schemes, advice and kindness, into a great big letter to me. I'm going to seal it up and store it away in a safe place, and I'm going to forget about it. Until...

...Until the end of the year. In early December I'm going to open the letter up and I'm going to see what has come to pass. I'm going to see what I knew now, that I didn't realise I knew {if that makes sense}. Call it a lesson in dreaming if you will.

I want you to join me. I want you to write a letter to yourself, and fill it up with all your heart's content. Your wishes and your hopes for the year, your gentle advice to yourself, your reservations, your secret desires. Write it all out and then seal it up.

When you've done that I want you to send it to me. Yep, that's right. Pop it in the post to:

{tinniegirl}

PO Box 1107

Thornbury

Victoria 3071

Australia

I'm going to keep all our letters together. All our dreams and our hopes, held tightly together in one place. Sealed up in their own envelopes but connected to a bigger whole. Holding each other throughout the year. In the first week of December I'll post your letter back to you. {make sure your return address is clearly marked on the envelope so I can send it back to you}

If you'll join me then shoot me an email {address on my contact page} with 'NOTE TO SELF' in the subject line. You don't need to put anything in the body of the email. That way I'll know it's on its way to me. Have your letters in the post to me no later than Friday 14th January.

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This year feels like it's off to the most incredible start. It feels so big and amazing, and already so different. I am so full of dreams and plans, so much so that I feel overwhelmed with the possibility of them. It's hard to believe that I'm big enough for these ideas that are coursing through my veins at the moment.

I was listening to a recording by Jen Lemen yesterday and she talked about "knowing who I was and who I was meant to be in the world". That's exactly how I'm feeling. I just have to be brave enough to trust it. To trust that these things are meant for me. That I am more than enough to take this journey. And to share it with you.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

{a fabulously big list by a girl who likes to have her cake and eat it}

in 2011 i hope for, dream of, plan to:

holiday in hawaii and mainland USA
celebrate my 40th birthday in a meaningful way
move to a new home filled with light and space, close to birds and trees
hold 2 solo art exhibitions - one in a gallery
enter more group art shows
license some of my art
win an art award
get published in Cloth Paper Scissors
play with new ideas - bookbinding, art journaling
explore other facets of my creativity more - writing, dreaming, building community
commit to losing weight and keeping it off
develop new cooking skills and habits
maintain my love of cooking and food whilst losing weight
commit wholeheartedly to my new day job
maintain my blog as a means of connecting, creating community, sharing hope, inspiring others, collaborating and documenting my journey
practice random acts of kindness
be a loving, kind and caring partner, daughter and friend
connect more with family
run 5 km
develop my artist c.v
keep learning, growing, stretching my creative practice
read 11 books
host dinner parties
write letters to friends
learn to play chess
buy some original art
improve my vocabulary
take better care of my skin
treat myself - massages, pedicures, books, movies, courses and workshops
shop at farmer's markets more regularly
take some day trips and mini-breaks
improve our financial situation
be authentic, be brave, be gentle, be true to myself

yep, it's a big list. some of it will definitely happen, some of it won't, but i'm willing to take a risk on dreaming that it might be so.

how about you? have you got a list to share? i'd love to read it. just pop your link in below.

Monday, January 3, 2011

{how to write a list}

let go of the past. it doesn't matter what you did or didn't do before.
carve out some meaningful space and time for yourself.
let go of fear. let go of expectation.
write at least one thing on your list that scares you.
keep your list somewhere special. read it regularly.
write the way that works for you. maybe's it's just words of intention, maybe you like to write around themes {financial, health, family, creativity, work}, or maybe you just like to write a big list of everything.
write it over a few days or write it in one sitting.
don't overthink it. let your dreams and hopes, plans and goals unfold.
be brave.
have fun.
dream big.

i'll be posting my list tomorrow. join me?

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