{ready to go}

Image credit dulcisinfundo

A heads up to local peeps.  NCB is on again this coming Wednesday.  I've booked booths for us at the new venue, Stuzzi, 319 - 325 High St, Northcote.  I've heard the lemon merigue pie is to die for!

I'll be there this time but you'll have to forgive me if I'm a little distracted.  I'm just counting the sleeps till I head off to Flora Bowley's workshop on the weekend.

4 sleeps peeps.  4 sleeps.

{waiting for flora - a guest post by Ms L a.k.a Becoming Dr Doc}

Last Thursday {tinniegirl} woke up excited about the day ahead. She went off to work, where she had a very important piece of work to get done by 4pm. This was not the exciting part of her day however, that came after. At 5pm she picked me up at home, and we went to see a potential house to move into. This was also not the exciting thing that this day held, and the house was not adequate for our living needs either!

Today was the day she was to meet one of her favourite artists.

Last year {tinniegirl} went to An Artful Journey in San Francisco. Long story short she made some lovely friends, one of whom introduced her to the work of Flora Bowley.

She was excited to discover earlier in the year that Flora was coming to Australia to teach some workshops, and while at that stage Flora had not arranged to do one in Melbourne, {tinniegirl} made contact with her and said if she was in Melbourne she would be happy to show her around.

Again, long story short, Flora asked if she could stay at our house for a night. We had an internationally famous artist coming to stay at our house. How very exciting!!!

So I tidied the house and got the room ready while {tinniegirl} was at work.

With some lovely native flowers from our garden

Then after we had been to see the potential house, we met Flora and went to dinner at one of our favourite restaurants, the Moroccan Soup Bar. 

We had a lovely night hanging out with Flora, sharing a bottle of wine that she brought.

She made herself at home, which is something we like at our house, and while {tinniegirl} had to go to work the next day, and I was studying, Flora just hung out, went for a walk and looked after herself.

Mid afternoon, I dropped her at the train station to begin the next part of her trip which was to include a workshop in Melbourne.

In 6 sleeps {tinniegirl} is off to attend one of Flora's Bloom True painting workshops on the NSW coast.  It's her 40th birthday gift from all her family and friends.  You can probably imagine that she's pretty excited about it and really looking forward to it. Have fun {tinniegirl} and Flora.

{i am}

Popping my head in to let you know that I'm OK

OK with the fact that I'm not painting anything at the moment

OK with the fact that I don't feel like painting anything

OK with the fact that I don't have anything much to say or share

OK with deciding to put some dreams on the back burner for a while

OK with letting go

OK with taking things day by day

OK with being exactly where I am right now

I'm OK

Perfectly OK

{contemplating}

• new ideas
• running
• my next solo exhibition
• the power of rest
• happiness
• a really nice treat for me and Ms L
• the importance of self care
• transformation

NCB is on tomorrow night if you're around.  The details are here.

{progress}

It feels like an eternity since I've painted regularly.  In truth though, it hasn't been regularity that's escaped me, it's been my usual prolific ability.  Last year the paintings seemed to pour out of me.  This year I've struggled to complete anything.  

I've been doing this long enough now to know that there are ebbs and flows in the journey.  I don't expect to be working at the same capacity all the time.  But I have been surprised by just how much I seemed to have slowed down over the last 3 months.  As time's worn on it's been hard to silence the creeping doubts in my head.  "What if last year was my year"?  "What if my passion and inspiration dry up now"?  "What will life feel like if the painting is gone and it's not coming back" ? {gasp!!!}

It's been really hard to know how much to push myself and how much to just step back and let go.  In practicing kindness to myself I've wanted to truly acknowledge the impact that other parts of my life have been having on my energy and emotions.  At the same time though I know that sometimes we have to push through creative blocks in order to progress.

I've ended up doing a bit of both.  Sometimes I've pushed myself and sometimes I've simply walked away. Most times I've pushed I haven't really gotten anywhere in terms of results I'm happy with, and the letting go has left me feeling empty and lost.  But I've continued to persevere all the same...

On the weekend a small shift occured.  A timid and tentative dose of inspiration arrived, and my gentle efforts produced results that weren't half bad.

Now some momentum seems to be building.  Over the last couple of days colours are coming together and ideas are forming.  I'm having some a-ha moments and even smiling occasionally.  I'm wanting to actually be in the studio and working on something.  All good signs.

I'm even here in this space a bit more and joining in with My Creative Space for the first time in I don't know how long.

Yep, signs are definitely good.

Oh, and we're getting the band back together if you haven't caught the news.

{getting the band back together}

Photo credit Jamiriquai

Thanks to the good work of Lara I'm so pleased to tell you that the Northern Craft Bonanza will be back up and running as of next week.

The first change I need to let you know about is that we have changed to Wednesday night.

We also have a new venue.  We'll be meeting at Stuzzi Cafe, Bar & Lounge and we'll see if it works for our group.  We have a booking for next Wednesday 16th March for some booths up the back of the cafe.  

You'll find Stuzzi at 319 - 325 High St, Northcote.  It's easy to get to by public transport (take the 86 tram from the city or the Epping train to Northcote and walk to High St).  There's also great parking out the back, which I think you can access via Arthurton Rd or Hawthorn Rd.  You can enter the venue directly from the back carpark.  There's also parking out front on High St.

If you're not familiar with the NCB here's the general scoop:

• The Northern Craft Bonanza is a fortnightly craft group open to anyone.  
• BYO your own hand-held craft project along.
• We meet fortnightly on Wednesdays from 7-9pm.  (The great thing about Stuzzi is that they are open all day and late into the night so you can get there earlier or stay later if you want to.  They also offer meals, snacks, drinks, coffee, cake, etc.  Something for everyone.)
• There is no need to RSVP and there is no cost, except for any food and beverages you want to purchase.

 So that's it.  We are good to go again.  Hope to see you next week.

And again, huge thanks to Lara for offering to help out with running the NCB this year, and for getting the ball rolling.  She's the reason we are up and running again.

{arriving, only to realise you're not where you thought you were}

Writing my last post I really thought I had arrived at my destination.  In fact it was just a stop over, on the way to somewhere else. 

It all seemed and sounded so simple.  I'd identified that I was repeating old negative patterns of behaviour and I realised that it was time for them to go.

I thought that I was simply dealing with settling into a new job but in reality I've been confronted with years and years of past "stuff".  I don't know why it is this way, but it is. I must be ready, on some level!

It's been some of the toughest soul work I've done in a long time, and I'm still up to my neck in it.  Every day is an exercise in courage, and hope, and in overcoming self-doubt and self-defeating attitudes.

Where I've come to this weekend is the realisation that kindness is the greatest gift I can give myself at the moment.  That's it's OK to let some things slide.  Like blogging, or staying connected to people, or even painting.  I've been carrying this sense that I'm disappearing, that my dreams are fading away, that it's all coming unstuck.

But it's not.  It's just shifting, and rearranging, and adjusting.  Or perhaps I should say 'I', not it.

I've got a long way to travel yet. But really, I'm in no rush.  The urgency is false.  The timelines are self imposed.  The journey is the journey.  It travels its own course.  And boy does it make for one hell of a ride!