Yesterday morning I was thinking how nice it was that I was finally getting to a point where I can remember BigCat without the overwhelming pain and feelings of loss that have consumed me since we said goodbye.
Then last night without any warning I cried and cried because I miss him so much and it hurts so much to be without him.
That's how it's been these last few months. Some days I'm ok, most days I'm not. Most days I cry at some point in the day. Every day I miss him more than I thought possible. And every now and then there's a moment of peace, where it doesn't feel achingly sad.
That's how grief goes hey? There's no controlling it and there's no quick way out. It's a journey, a process of healing that happens in it's own time and it's own way. And you've just got to live with it.