today marks five years since i wrote my first blog post. that's longer than i've held any job, and apart from Ms L, longer than i've kept any relationship.
that's why the idea of letting go of my blog feels so huge and unfathomable. it's such a major part of my life and my journey. and this week various events have reminded me of all the amazing gifts that have come to me from blogging.
but i am enjoying the break at the moment. starting a new job is really, really, really hard work. i'm exhausted and overwhelmed a lot of the time. i can't be bothered being on the computer at all in the evenings, even to reply to emails. in fact i've hardly even watched tv. all i want to do is read and sleep, and on the weekends do fun stuff. so that's what i've been doing.
aside from that i've been realising how completely creatively burned out i was feeling. how i had turned creativity into a chore, not an outlet, and how it stripped me of my passion. and forcing myself to blog was definitely part of that burn out. so i haven't been in the studio either. i haven't touched any of my book-binding or gone near a paint brush. and i've allowed myself to be completely ok with that. more than ok. having realised that i was so completely out of balance i somehow also sensed that the only way back was to completely let go of all expectations and pressure.
so that's how things are with me. i'm still finding my way into the year and into my new job. but i'm good. life is great overall and 2013 is going to be a fantastic year. i just know it.
sadly today also marks another significant anniversary - much more serious and painful. my thoughts are with those who continue to suffer.