Friday, March 23, 2012

{a gentler kind of dreaming}


A good friend always talks about the opportunities that lie in darkness.  How often when we reach that point of collapse there is something new that becomes apparent.  It's what I know to be true too, but it's always good to be reminded of these things.  What I've realised this time is that I've been doing this now for years.  Working towards dreams and aspirations with such a sometimes emotional, sometime physical, furious intensity, until I completely fall apart.  I've been doing this for years!!!

Having just realised how long I've been doing this for I'm also realising how ingrained it has become into my way of being, and how extremely unhealthy it is.  No doubt there are times when you have to push, and times when you do have to fall apart, but I have finally come to understand that living in a constant self-inflicted cycle of hope and despair is completely unnecessary and is really just another form of self-sabotage.

Right now I'm practicing a much gentler kind of dreaming and doing.  I'm catching myself in those moments when inspiration and excitement start sliding into mental to-do lists, driving senses of urgency and relentless pursuit of goals.  I'm catching myself on that cusp and I'm saying no, to both the high and the low.  I'm realising that I can actually choose balance.

I have such great hopes and dreams for my life.  I want to bring every single one of them to life.  I'm interested to see if this gentler kind of dreaming isn't perhaps the key to unlocking it all.

It feels big and new to me, and infinitely more sustainable!

4 comments:

  1. I can imagine it can be such a tough life to live as an artist. You invest your heart and soul in each piece and it would be easy to fall into the hope and despair pattern( well I know I do too!)Goodluck with the gentler dreaming and I will be very interested in any "how to " tips.

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  2. Wow, awesome post. All the best for you.

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  3. Sending love your way, don't give up the dream.
    Roberta x

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