I knew that the silence had a message for me, even though it felt somewhat empty to start off with. Late afternoon yesterday the words drifted into my consciousness, just like they did last November.
"You are the one creating this struggle".
It's true. Again! At first when we found out our house is being sold I was excited and so open to possibility. But as time marched on I became confused and uncertain, and full of anxiety for the future.
Right I thought, I'm going to take charge of this situation and I'm going to make it work exactly the way I want it too! I've got a picture of exactly how my life should look. I'm going to hold firmly to that ideal and I'm going to make it happen.
I threw myself at ideas and possibilities of my own creation with all my heart and soul. Yet movement has completely alluded me. The more it has, the more I've pushed, all the while holding fast to this one picture of how my life should be. As it's become harder and harder to hold on to the illusion of control I've questioned the universe's decisions, but never once thought to question my own.
Last year the words hit me like a great big slap in the face. This time it was much gentler but equally as profound. There are changes to be made, but perhaps not the ones I thought. The dream remains but the path to get there might have to take a different turn for now. It's time to look at the bigger picture of my life with a more open heart.
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A wonderful post ... I think sometimes we can be our own worst enemies, creating issues and worries where they need not be.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. So can relate. G
ReplyDeleteI think you've been reading my mind :-). Sometimes it's difficult to step back and look for the forest instead of at the trees. This is what I'm hoping to achieve this Blogtober as well so I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteSometime the scenic route is a lot more interesting and much prettier.
ReplyDeleteTake your time and enjoy the way the road twists and turns. The scenery is good too.
i think i need that phrase burned into my skull with a branding iron - i just don't seem to realize that lesson fully!! and i know i need to integrate that knowledge into my soul so i can REALLY move forward...
ReplyDeleteI'll have to keep the words of Running Thread uppermost in my brain since I do enjoy the scenic route!
Thank you for this post my friend =-)
Just found you through blogfest. Thank you for your post. You expressed so beautifully what I've been trying to work out in my mind.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a blogpost on my musing of this very thing scheduled to post later today and I will be linking your blog to my post.
So true for me at the moment. Sometimes the path is a little more rocky than expected. Hope you get yourself balanced again soon.
ReplyDeleteLiving takes a lot of faith doesn't it? Faith in yourself that you'll get there, trust in the universe that it will let you and the courage to have and hold the dream.
ReplyDeleteKeep going for it!
It's wonderful how not only does the world go round in circles but so too our minds. I get to the point where I think I'm on top of something and then I just let it go and have to start all over again. Recognising it is the first step, working on it or around it is the next I suppose. I hope you find another way to come to terms with your challenges.
ReplyDeleteI love this post xx
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