Friday, June 25, 2010

I'd Be Lying



If I didn't admit:
  • that my balance feels completely out of whack at the moment
  • that adjusting to my new life is kicking my ass
  • that some days I feel like my dreams are just too big for me
  • that I'm completely intimidated by Photoshop
  • that I'm overwhelmed by getting my creative business off the ground
  • that I pretend to be lots of things - OK, happy, balanced, sure, confident
  • that trying to remain positive all the time takes ridiculous amounts of energy
  • that knowing I'll feel better tomorrow often leads me to be dismissive of how I feel today
  • that there's so much of my story that remains untold
  • that authenticity really matters to me
  • that community is what I need
  • that I feel afraid
  • that I'm exhausted
  • that I need to rest
  • that I need to paint
  • that everything is better when I paint
  • that I'm learning, always learning, to listen to my whispers, to listen to my heart, to be braver, ever braver
  • that I know it's going to be OK
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17 comments:

  1. LouJune 25, 2010 at 5:13 PM

    I love your authenticity. I love that you are a friendly and caring person (even from the tiny, tiny bit I know) and I think that your outside smiles are sometimes still a good thing because they help others to feel important and relaxed.

    I love your honesty and that you can make the rest of us (me included) feel a little more normal when we feel the same things as you. But it's not really about me - I hope your learning, and you being brave and your new life all improves bit by bit and that it is all going to be ok. Lou.

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  2. Chasing Purple DreamsJune 25, 2010 at 5:29 PM

    I know how you feel and I also know that it IS GOING TO BE OK. Go paint and feel alive.

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  3. bethJune 25, 2010 at 5:41 PM

    You are so open and honest.
    It will happen for you. In a big way. Just look after the baby steps when it seems too much.
    No dream is too big
    BethXx

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  4. MichelleJune 25, 2010 at 7:51 PM

    Hey Cath - you'll be right. Your work is ace and it's all going to be fine...small steps...and just drop me a line if you want some Photoshop advice, I'd love to help if I can.

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  5. AnonymousJune 25, 2010 at 8:09 PM

    it WILL be OK you are on your, but it is one step at a time and hey don't be so hard on yourself, you don't have to do everything at once, I think those of us who have had art in hearts forever have been so conditioned that we must have a "real" job in order to have a life, that it is a very hard thing to learn that is not so, I have been trying to unlearn that since I was about 17

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  6. AnonymousJune 25, 2010 at 8:10 PM

    ps I meant to say you are on your way!!!

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  7. LissaBee CreationsJune 25, 2010 at 9:51 PM

    Hi, Cathy! I saw your tweet about getting the crochet out, so I flew over to visit. Gosh, can I relate to this post! Yikes, this week has been the toughest yet.

    We just have to remember to keep our wings flapping!

    Melissa

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  8. KimberleyJune 26, 2010 at 2:30 AM

    Yes. Oh, and yes. Thanks for putting so much of how I feel into words. Sometimes I just need a good cleansing cry.

    Because you are authentic I believe you will soar.

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  9. chrissyJune 26, 2010 at 2:34 AM

    i.d be lying if i didn.t admit that i just LOVE you.
    muah.
    c

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  10. The Creative BeastJune 26, 2010 at 2:59 AM

    there MUST be some REALLY BIG SHIFTS happening in the Universe right now because I'm am seeing, hearing and experiencing difficulties in Life for me and many friends...

    and you are right about "being positive taking so much energy", which is why I try to remember my personal story of "Stay Negative" - it really is okay to be negative for a little while since it will inevitably teach us something we need to know about ourselves and they really are just feelings that will dissipate over time =-)

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  11. albyJune 26, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    It must be 'Introspective Day'. Kick it in the balls and go have a Tim Tam. I'll join you in a minute. Kettle's on! And yes, everything IS better when one paints, isn't it?

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  12. garcia.solJune 26, 2010 at 6:30 PM

    i think we're all in the same boat with you ;)

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  13. NikkiJune 26, 2010 at 8:11 PM

    Yup - I was about to say what garcia.sol said. Feel the fear and do it anyway, as they say.. and paint, paint, paint....

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  14. KolleenJune 27, 2010 at 5:28 AM

    i have to tell you...
    i agree with every single one of your statements!!

    you are not alone my friend...
    not at all!

    sending big loves and hugs
    xoxo
    k

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  15. TaniaJune 28, 2010 at 9:05 PM

    Now what did I say about Photoshop? It's like a horse, remember. You just can't let on that you're scared out of your wits and you'll do just fine.

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  16. UmatjiJune 28, 2010 at 9:44 PM

    Hey this is great - I posted bout honesty just recently and I love that I have pottered over here to find this here post. you know that everyone else feels a small variation on the same list! Crazy that our culture encourages us to just smile when we just don't feel like it sometimes. Hope the sun shines hot on your back tomorrow.

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  17. danielle danielJune 30, 2010 at 5:47 AM

    You are such a brave and real human. Thank-you (again) for putting it out there, for speaking your truth, for aknowledging the process, the whole journey.

    xox

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