I thought I was cruising along. I thought I was happily waiting, and then someone shifted the goal posts, and it all unraveled. I was not prepared for that.
With the unraveling has come the realisation that the last couple of weeks have been really difficult. My reentry to reality after 3 weeks of freedom, adventure, creativity and amazing connections has been exhausting. I have been trying to pretend that I'm not exhausted, and full of questions and uncertainty about where I'm going.
The funny thing is that now that I've had the opportunity to really think about it I've realised I actually don't want the thing I'm waiting for. I don't want it at all. I just thought that I was supposed to want it. I thought I was trusting the universe and listening to its messages but I wasn't listening properly, and I certainly wasn't listening to myself as well.
This is why I always say I'm 'practicing' this art of trusting the universe. It's full of twists and turns, subtle intricacies, challenges, opportunities and learning.
So now it's time to start moving again. To stretch my legs and set off. I'm not quite sure where those legs are supposed to take me but I'm sure I'll find my way.
It's also time to announce the winner of the giveaway. Yesterday when I thought about drawing the giveaway the number 17 came to me. Just like that. When I realised earlier that it was the 17th today I decided to go with it. So the 17th commenter is One Little Acorn. Get in touch with details so I can post a package of loveliness to you.
I wish I had a copy of MixTape to give everyone but you can purchase your own copy right over here.
Woooo hoooo! I am a winner. THE winner.
ReplyDeleteW I N N E R.
oooh - I'm a bit excited. I'm at work, so I'll get back to you later!
Thanks for making my day a whole lot brighter Cathy
i LOVE those colors my friend.
ReplyDeletei want to hang it on my wall....JUST LIKE THAT!
SURRENDER.
oh how i love you!
feel my BIG hug to you right now.
and then rest a bit.
xoxoxo
c
Bummer! I felt so sure I was going to be the winner this time. Ah well.
ReplyDeleteThat waiting game can be hard, can't it? At the moment I'm waiting to find out about a job application. I just can't not give up on it, but as time goes by I wonder how they can possibly be taking so long to just ring me up and offer me the job. Why won't they do it??
Hi Cathy,
ReplyDeletePracticing to trust the universe is where I am at too. I find that when I pay close attention, the universe is guiding me through my decisions in life. But when I am not paying attention, or when I am choosing not to listen, I then end up getting "yelled" at by the universe. You know? But sometimes those loud messages are ones that are so final that you have to follow along, and decisions are easier to make. And you then don't ever doubt whatever path you then choose.
Just know that the best you can do is the best you can do. If you are following your heart, you are doing your best.
xxoo
Lorrie
It happens all the time, we think we 'want' things and then only after some soul-searching realise we've wanted them for all the wrong reasons... usually to fulfil someone else's expectations, or perceived expectations, I find...
ReplyDeleteI hope you take some time out to rest for a bit. And maybe stop thinking too hard for a bit!!
What is that saying about how all the enjoyment is in the journey, not actually in the getting there? Let it flow, I say. And don't go giving yourself any hard times when you head off in a new direction.
ReplyDeleteOnce again, feel free to spout all that back at me at one time or another!
True openness in waiting is so hard, I feel like I have only experienced it once. It was such a magical moment; I worry that I will never get back there. The worrying doesn’t help trying to be open! Argh we creative folk are such tricky beings! Good luck with your waiting, good things are coming to you, I can just tell.
ReplyDeleteDeep long breaths, sun shinning on your cheeks, walk to the rhythm of your own heart. Let it lead you to uncover the next step. For now, enjoy what is and be kind to yourself.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Danielle
Sometimes things have a way of coming together after they have a messy unravel. You'll find what you're waiting for, and it will be lovely and worth the wait.
ReplyDeletecongratulations to One Little Acorn!!
ReplyDeletei hope to get a copy of Mix Tape soon...i'm so excited that you have an article in it! i've been looking into that article submission thing myself lately...what a coincidence ;)!
I'm liking all of those paint colors mixing together, making each other brighter and more wonderful.
ReplyDeletewell done one little acorn. 17 is a great number.
ReplyDeletecathy ... go with your instincts now you know what you want. sometimes it does seem as though we're aiming for the star we're supposed to hit and it's just not right for us.
I'd really love to hear more about this, lovely one. Sounds like a shift of seismic proportions.
ReplyDelete