Saturday, January 2, 2010

2009: Farewell

Street Art, Liverpool St, Melbourne

"And I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes
Oh, I've felt that fire and I, I've been burned
But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned"
Pink - Crystal Ball
I've been thinking about my end of year post for a few weeks now. Trying to find the feeling and the words that would tell the story. I was driving today listening to Pink. The lines above say it all about what 2009 was for me.

At the start of the year I said I wanted to
ENJOY. "I'd like to enjoy life more, enjoy taking risks, enjoy the good things that have been happening in my life, enjoy moving forwards with my dreams and goals, enjoy my relationships with people and enjoy each and every day for what it is."

Looking back now I'd take the word ENJOY out of that sentence. It would read more like this "I'll live life more, take risks, build on the good things that have been happening in my life, move forward with my dreams and goals, develop my relationships with people and take each and every day for what it is."

If it read like that I would declare it to be true. I achieved many goals, made progress with others and there were a few that just didn't make it. There were lots of things that weren't on the list that were accomplished, created and experienced.

But the word ENJOY is not the word that describes my year. 2009 was many things, and there were definitely times that were enjoyable. But it was not an easy year, it was not a year filled with lightness and a relaxed way of being in the world.

2009 was the year that my best friend died. 2009 was the year that Ms L's chronic fatigue continued to create havoc on all aspects of our life. 2009 was a year of deepest unrest in my working life, including an unsatisfactory job change and continued career questioning. 2009 was a year of financial difficulty, car trouble, computer meltdowns. 2009 was a year of questioning, self-doubt, uncertainty and grief.

At the same time 2009 was a year of creating and strengthening. 2009 was a year where blog friendships became real friendships. 2009 was a year where I explored and expanded my creativity. 2009 was a year where I made plans, and dreamed big of the creative life I want to live. 2009 was a year where I developed a daily discipline for writing and loved it. 2009 was a year that I rode over 1000kms, joined a gym and started my weight loss journey.

2009 was a year to test me, to stretch me and to help me to see what I'm capable of and what matters. I am learning to be brave and to take risks, I'm learning to be honest with myself and others, I'm learning to be strong and confident and sure of my place in the world.

I didn't ENJOY 2009 but I wouldn't change it, apart from wishing that my best friend were still alive. I wouldn't take back the lessons.

I come to 2010 knowing that the universe has a plan for me, that I just have to listen, look for signs, be open to opportunity, willing to say yes, patient.
I think that 2010 is going to be a wonderful year.

Happy New Year!


  1. and I truly hope it is a wonderful year for you Ms tinnie. You have some great things planned

  2. Wow, you've done well to be able to put it into words, I haven't been able to, and won't try! But definate highlight was meeting you in 2009!!

  3. Acceptance of the old is so so important before the new arrives. You did so well. xx

  4. Happy New Year TinnieGirl, what a lovely blog. All the best in 2010, love Posie

  5. Happy New Year to you too.
    Glad that you learnt so much in 2009, hope you keep learning on into 2010 but that the lessons are easier and more fun.

    Best wishes to you and L for 2010.

  6. 2009 was the year I met you, and I wouldn't change that for the world! Haven't you achieved a lot if 12 short months. Here's to another great year, Cathy. xoxo

  7. wishing you the very best for 2010 & am so glad to have got the chance to get to know you & discover a little bit about you.
    hugs Ms C ♥

  8. What a beautifully honest post. I hope the new year goes well for you and your new strenghts take you to great new places this year. No experience ever goes to waste:) Mandi

  9. I have goosebumps after reading that. I hope that 2010 brings so many wonderful things your way!

  10. Beautiful words Cathy. I hope 2010 is everything you wish and hope for... and maybe even just a little more! xxx

  11. I wouldn't say I enjoyed 2009 either but I wouldn't trade the experience. I grew as a person and hopefully that will continue. 2009 was a year of great loss for my family and also a demonstration of the amount of love and strength I am surrounded by.

    I'd like 2010 to be a less turbulent year.....

  12. The word that comes to mind is growth. A lot of it has been happening, maybe not where an when you expected it but it has happened and that is a good thing. Onwards and upwards I say :-)

  13. Happy 2010 for you and Miss L. Even if you have ben feeling less than light, I always find your strength and openess and honesty to be a ray of sunshine