Friday, October 28, 2011

{words: a list - blogtoberfest day XXVIII}

New letters

A random collection of words that I'm carrying with me right now:

I am a woman on a mission, whoa
Nothing can stop me, I'm stronger than ever
I wanna see this through
I am a woman on a mission, whoa
Whatever it takes, I'll do what I gotta do
                                            On A Mission - Gabriella Cilmi 

These two posts by Goddess Leonie blew me away.  Take the time to read all 11,000 words. I don't have children and I don't intend to experience birth first hand but  I promise you there is a message for you, for every single one of you in these words.

I found this post by Lori Portka.  It's like she took the words I've been trying to articulate for weeks now and just wrote them down for me.  And then she added some advice to guide me on my way.  Everything I needed to say and everything I needed to hear right there just waiting for me.

So raise your glass if you are wrong, in all the right ways,
all my underdogs, 
we will never be never be anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks
Won't you come on and come on and raise your glass,
                                          Raise Your Glass - Pink

More real - here, here, here and here.  I know, I keep talking about it, but I can't get enough of the real at the moment.    I've been living a 'groundhog day' kind of existence these past 5 months.  Trying to numb myself to the enduring and overwhelming sense of mediocrity that has been taking over my life.  I am only just seeing the cost of that survival.  How I've had to silence myself.  How in order not to scream I've hardly been able to speak. Of dreams, hope, fear, hopelessness, envy, sadness, confusion, of how my heart has been breaking.  No more I say.  No more.

No need to run and hide
It's a wonderful, wonderful life
No need to laugh and cry
It's a wonderful, wonderful life
                                         Wonderful Life - Tina Cousins

Words from me, to me and to you today: you are perfect, exactly the way you are.

Lastly, I'm sharing words over at Your Heart Makes a Difference today.

*************************************************

Can you believe blogtoberfest is almost over?  It's been a blur this time around, but I'll save my reflections for Monday.

Pop round tomorrow though.  I've got another seriously kick ass giveaway for you.

6 comments:

  1. "Trying to numb myself to the enduring and overwhelming sense of mediocrity that has been taking over my life. I am only just seeing the cost of that survival. How I've had to silence myself. How in order not to scream I've hardly been able to speak. Of dreams, hope, fear, hopelessness, envy, sadness, confusion, of how my heart has been breaking. No more I say. No more."

    OMG, I just burst into tears reading this. This is me. Completely.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Once upon a time,

    a goddess became a mama

    and she lost everything she knew

    in order to become

    who she was.

    - Goddess Leonie

    Thank you for sharing these posts. I had PND and I just cried reading all 11,000 words. Amazingly real

    ReplyDelete
  3. I second Michele in the words you've written: reading them reminded me of where I was just a few short months ago and that feeling had lasted for over TWO YEARS!! I'm SO GLAD you are saying NO MORE to that feeling Cathy! =-)

    I've experienced depression and it's no fun but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It also makes you stronger in your Soul =-)

    Thank you for sharing the amazing links!

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG you're breaking my heart hearing you're feeling like you do Cathy ;) I get you, been there done all that! Trust me it will all shift, all change if you're open to it and let it happen. Let go of what's holding you down, you can find it, it's all inside you.
    A wise person once told me "you are the most important person you know."
    Look around, ask yourself, is this good for me? No not selfishly, practically and if it's not good for you then do something about it.
    I'm sending you my heartfelt wishes that you get to where I am. It's not easy, but it's possible to have ultimate peace, contentment and serenity.
    Mega HUGS.xo

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cathy, I just found your blog today and I have just sat here for the last hour or more reading it - wow, you write exactly what I wish I could put into words about my life! Your paintings are beautiful and your honesty is profound and insightful. I look forward to reading more :) Tamara

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am sitting at my computer with tears streaming down my face as I read this... I have just written a post about the very same thing and then deleted it. How do we get past this feeling...?

    ReplyDelete