Saturday, June 12, 2010

Lucky Bird, Or The One In Which Tinniegirl Finds Herself Living The Life Of Her Dreams

Lucky Birds
Acrylics and ephemera on canvas
6 x 6 inch
(Fine art print available late July)

It was Tuesday of last week when it came to me.  

Riding my bicycle to the gym mid-morning, the rest of the day spread out before me, I suddenly realised it.

Here I am living the exact life I have been dreaming of for the last 10 years.  My time is my own. I control when I work, how I work, who I work for.  I have time and energy for my creative dreams.  I have enough money to pay the bills.  I am free.

And in that moment, the briefest of moments, I made my decision.  To say YES! to this life, to fully commit to it from here on in.  To surrender my heart and soul to the deep sense of knowing that this is my time.

Saying yes was so simple.  Without fanfare or angst my life changed forever.

BUT, this living of dreams is not for the faint of heart.  The decision was easy, living it a different matter.

Balance has been so incredibly elusive.  The freedom has been overwhelming.  Whole days go past with nothing to show.  I flit from one task to another, often starting a myriad of different things, paying due attention to none, and finding myself lost in a sea of chaos.  Stress levels rise, worry and angst creep into my days.

For a moment I became so completely afraid.  After all this time I thought, I'm not going to make it.  I don't have the fortitude.  I don't know how to create the balance.

And finally, just in the last few days, came the knowing.  It's going to be just fine.  I know what to do.  I know how to do this.  Trial and error, some fine tuning and finessing, a little bit of looking ahead and planning, and the foundation of my new life is built.

I have arrived.

19 comments:

  1. Here's Cheers! A toast to Tinniegirl. So much of your post could have been written about me, except I tend to keep all those thoughts swirling around in my head.

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  2. Slowly, slowly as Julie-Julie (an old Chzek friend) used to say.

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  3. This revelation is truly brilliant! Congrats Cathy for fulfiling your dreams...

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  4. Such a wonderful post! Yay, yay, yay!!!

    Can I also say, that artwork is the most beautiful one I have seen from you :) Such depth. All your hard work is paying off, Cathy.

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  5. YES!!!!
    WELCOME HOME!
    i love that..."the foundation of my new life is built"
    what a blessed discovery and realization.
    you DO have the FORTITUDE sweet sister.
    this is a wonderful and happily welcomed post sent into the heart of someone across the waters ...
    WHO LOVES YOU!
    smooch!
    c

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  6. This is so lovely to read! I had that same moment last year and it was the most amazing feeling. Hope everything is going really well for you.

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  7. I would love to give you one big giant hug. I am so happy for you and know that you have it in you to follow your dreams. It is so wonderful to see how things have just sort of worked themselves together for you.

    xxoo
    Lorrie

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  8. it IS going to be just fine, Cathy, and i am so HAPPY that you are living your Ideal Life - WOO HOO!

    you SO deserve this =-)

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  9. You are blessed Cathy to have that awareness. Amazing, isn't it.

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  10. I want to give you a giant hug too. This is wonderful and such a joy to read. Yes it is going to be alright and you are going to remain this contented and happy following your heart my friend xxx

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  11. I am so thrilled for you! This is just the best thing to read! xxxx

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  12. I am with you Cathy. Balance for me is in constant flux. How wonderful to experience those moments where everything makes sense... Tiny bits of wisdom, of clarity...

    I celebrate this day with you and walk along side you as you live the life of your dreams... Take note that I celebrate this knowing with you and embrace all it has to give.

    Danielle xox

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  13. I want to rush over to your studio, give you a huge hug and congratulate you on one of the most important days of your life! What an awesome post.

    Thanks so much for your message the other day, really appreciated it

    BethXx

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  14. You write so beautifully, and I love your realisations and could relate to it perfectly. I am saying yes to an artistic life because I simply and truly deserve it!

    And the painting is gorgoues, love the energy and I am always fascinate with birds as painting subjects!A good day to you!

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  15. no words...just complete and utter love for you, sweet, sweet soul! This work is perfect & brilliant!

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