Acrylics and ephemera on canvas
6 x 6 inch
(Fine art print available late July)
It was Tuesday of last week when it came to me.
Riding my bicycle to the gym mid-morning, the rest of the day spread out before me, I suddenly realised it.
Here I am living the exact life I have been dreaming of for the last 10 years. My time is my own. I control when I work, how I work, who I work for. I have time and energy for my creative dreams. I have enough money to pay the bills. I am free.
And in that moment, the briefest of moments, I made my decision. To say YES! to this life, to fully commit to it from here on in. To surrender my heart and soul to the deep sense of knowing that this is my time.
Saying yes was so simple. Without fanfare or angst my life changed forever.
BUT, this living of dreams is not for the faint of heart. The decision was easy, living it a different matter.
Balance has been so incredibly elusive. The freedom has been overwhelming. Whole days go past with nothing to show. I flit from one task to another, often starting a myriad of different things, paying due attention to none, and finding myself lost in a sea of chaos. Stress levels rise, worry and angst creep into my days.
For a moment I became so completely afraid. After all this time I thought, I'm not going to make it. I don't have the fortitude. I don't know how to create the balance.
And finally, just in the last few days, came the knowing. It's going to be just fine. I know what to do. I know how to do this. Trial and error, some fine tuning and finessing, a little bit of looking ahead and planning, and the foundation of my new life is built.
I have arrived.