Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Dig Deep And Trust

A very special note from Andrea Scher*

This morning I woke filled with doubt and questions, fighting reality. The tension had started building on the weekend. Today was my first day at work in over 3 weeks.

Why, I asked? Why do I have to go to work? Why am I not meant to be staying at home in my studio painting or writing? Why am I not making a full time living from my creativity? When will it happen? Will it ever happen for me? I felt the angst that I carried in
the late part of last year pulling at me again.

And then I remembered! To trust that I am exactly where I am meant to be just now, doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. To surrender to the fact that whilst I might not understand the bigger picture, the universe has a plan for me. To embrace the magic of letting go.

So I put a smile on face and set about my day, and my life, just as it is.


*When I was at the art retreat I happened to visit a hardware store. After telling classmates about my addiction to paint chips, my tendency to take four of every colour, and my fear of being tapped on the shoulder and told to put them all back, I decided to pick up a couple in case I wanted to use them in my book. I took only 3 and then on Sunday when Andrea Scher came to visit and I looked at her, Kelly Rae and Mati Rose sitting together up the front I knew exactly what to use them for. I felt like a bit of a dork asking them to each write a special message for me on one of the paint chips, but I knew if I didn't I'd a) regret it and b) possibly never have the opportunity again. So I did. And now I have a message from each of those three amazing and inspirational women tucked away in a pocket of my Funky Chunky Coffee Table Book, and I'm so glad I do.


  1. I hear you! It is often hard to reconcile with the fact that the universe has a plan for you.

    I feel exactly the same way about my "day job" .. why oh why? So I am trying to keep my eye on the prize .. put in place things that support the greater vision, rather than my mundane teaching.

    Your day job will provide you with the stability that you need to take the risks and dream the dream and when you no longer need it, you will know and you will step away.

  2. such a great idea to have the little messages,very special. welcome home. I know it must of been hard to go back to work, hope you coped ok

  3. Ooh - I'd be mightily tempted to translate that little bit of wisdom onto a very large Yellow Blast F27 painted wall!

  4. I just can't get over the beautiful penmanship!! Gorgeous, oh to be able to write so dreamily, love Posie

  5. You may not be at the destination just yet, but you're definitely on the way.... good luck for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you!

  6. Did you ride to work nudie? It was good weather for it - well up here it was!

    seriously though - I love that you were "dork" enough to ask for those paint chip messages. I think being a dork is to be vulnerable and truthful - and that is a good way to be.


  7. Having recently developed an obsession with paint chips...

    Well, I have no words. This is amazing - stuff of dreams. :)

    Maybe you need to be "stuck" with a job so that you have a dream to pursue?

  8. I know how it feels to be exactly at that place...The divine plan is so beautifully orchestrated that even you will be surprised by it's timing and it's bigness for you...

    Danielle xox

  9. Hi there Cathy,
    I can so relate to the day job. I had a horrible year last year. But that year brought me to art, and then even brought me to GAINING balance in my life, crazy as that is, it is true. I would not have understood the positives while in the mist of my terrible year, but here I am this year having one of my best in 15 years. I do hope that you will find the little things that make your work more enjoyable to get you through the difficulty of the job after a wonderful adventure like yours.

    And Andrea sure does have beautiful handwriting! And more so, she has written you a beautiful sentiment.


  10. i've been having the same question in my head since my return to work, also: WHY???!?!

    thankfully, 'this too shall pass', at least that's what i'm trying to tell myself!

    and things are happening all around, such as your article for Mixtape - i think that's wonderful!!

    i'll have to get some paint chips for you especially since i found an ACE hardware near me that has the same chips we got at the hardware store in Los Gatos - just let me know what colors you'd like to have =-)

  11. I love the paint chip messages! I tend to gather paint chips at the hardware store too... it's just so happy to have some around!

  12. Cathy, The work thing can just a bout suck the life from you , but it won't be forever....

    You need to have that paint chip photo made into the cover of a journal for you, and take the journal to work with you everyday!

  13. You post reminds me of the days sitting in an office, watching the clock tick ever so slowly, being bored to tears, knowing that there was something more for me in this world. That was 13 years ago, and while I feel there were great lessons of patience to be learned back then, I am ever so grateful that I get to sit in my studio these days instead.
    I am reaching over land and sea to hug you my friend and to encourage you to trust your heart knowing it will lead you in the path you are meant to go and with a bit of perseverence and trust you will slip into the fullness of life that feeds your soul wholely ever single day.

  14. Oh, sweet pea, I know that feeling so well. It's deflating and discouraging and very very lonely.
    You've just had an incredible experience, living your true calling and communing with kindred spirits. These times are precious and rare, so be proud that you made sacrifices so that you could get there and that you made the most of every single moment.
    The crash down to earth is inevitable and horrible, and don't underestimate the impact that jetlag has on your ability to ease back in to the daily grind (least of all when you don't want to get back to the daily grind!).
    You are smart to call on your resources (like special messages from Andrea Scher) and friends who love you, to help cushion you through this gritty phase and guide to towards a life that integrates more of what you experienced in Los Gatos into your daily practice.
    Be kind to yourself, this is a wretched business. xx
    PS I'd LOVE to have a collage play date with you, when you're ready. Not just because I'm keen to witness your new-found techniques! But because I'd love for you to relive the magic and tell your stories.

  15. What a lovely thing to write! I echo Jodies idea on this one. You need to keep that message with you every day. Keep the chip in your bag or purse too.

  16. Lovely!
    I think we can all do with a bit of trusting where we are - I question daily why I'm in a 9-5 desk job when I'd love to be creative, but the time will come.
    Thanks for your wisdom.

  17. i am so loving this yellow paintchip with this gor-juss handwriting from such an amazing, wonderous soul!!! what an incredible idea to have the three of them write something for you....so good !!!

    sounds like today was a good day to pull this one out!

    sending love to you

  18. cathy
    i really enjoy reading your life journey and yes I subscribe to the thought that I have no idea what the bigger picture looks like so I trust that I am doing what's right just for now

  19. Gorgeous idea for the messages. You're right: there would have been regret in not asking, but no regret in asking even though it was challenging.

    One day, your dream of having your creativity as a day job will come true- but just like everything in life, there is a time and a reason behind the whole journey, so you're right- just trust in it.


  20. Cathy,
    you are amazing ...
    We all know it - just ask if you need to be reminded!

  21. oh sweet girl.
    sweet happy little bird.
    this was a PERFECT color for you to have miss andrea write on.
    she IS a ray of sunshine that girl.
    do you know how much i miss you?
    do you?
    let me count the ways sister.

  22. I could have written this post word for word. I am struggling to find the balance between the crafty world and the working world and motherhood. I want it all, but I am only one person and feel so little in the big scheme of things.

    Please keep sharing these posts - it's certainly helping me to see the forest from the trees (or is that trees from the forest... YKWIM?)

    Here's to the future and our dreams xxx