I'm having one of those funny weeks. I seem to be bumping into people. On an emotional level, not a physical one. It happens periodically. I get all out of sorts and can't negotiate the intricacies of relationships. Can't work out where I end and other people start, and have to completely withdraw.
It makes perfect sense. I think any period of personal growth is always going to close you off from others to some degree. For the most part I'm OK with it. I need to learn to truly see myself without the shadow of others in the picture.
I can't help but laugh at something I wrote in my journal earlier this week:
"I want to find a way to express the true contents of my heart and soul in a way that invites others into my story...I want to open my heart more, be more vulnerable, more alive."A bit hard when you're coming at your interactions with people like a bumper car. Don't worry, if you see me in the street and decide to run I'll understand. Sort of!
I'll put my crash helmet on and look forward to seeing you on Saturday!
ReplyDeleteUrgh. This happens to me fairly regularly too. Usually I think it's because I have a thin skin and other people are just determined to wear their cranky pants and I end up wearing their attitude very personally as well.
ReplyDeleteToday thought I'm just in a cross mood and I'm hoping no one comes near me for fear they'll cop it!
I loved our quick chat last saturday and I love your blog - so real! Look forward to 'playing' another time. Lou.
ReplyDelete{ hugs }
ReplyDeleteOh you wrote that SOOOOOOO well and I can so relate at times.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're not going to run away the next time you see me!
ReplyDeleteIt's like a rollarcoaster Tinnie... lots of ups and downs, some steeper and scarier than others, but all part of your journey that just keeps moving forward. You're going to have 'one of those funny weeks' every now and then - that's part of your journey. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteWhat about when you feel that it is a "funny" life, not just a funny week? I would really love to know what "normal" feels like, even for a week, just so that I know how "funny" I really am.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post.
Jen in Melbourne
I can totally relate! I'm like that on a fairly regular basis - at least a couple days every 5 or 6 weeks. The difficulty comes when those closest to you are your polar opposite and can't understand why you feel you need time away, time to be alone with your own thoughts, to leave all the noise behind. It looks like you might not have that problem, that's good.
ReplyDeleteHum.... thought provoking!
ReplyDeleteso true that "personal growth can close you off from others" because i've been feeling that quite a bit lately...
ReplyDeletehope you don't mind that i quote you on this in my post for today since you've so eloquently phrased what i'm feeling this week.
the good news is that it eventually passes =-)!
Maybe that's why I've been feeling cocoon-y lately...
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better within yourself soon. xx
ReplyDeleteI'm looking around for my crash helmet too! Still working out if I can stand the heat!
ReplyDelete