{the decision}

First came the decision. To reclaim my life. To accept that while things might continue to happen to me, things I don't like, didn't ask for and don't deserve, that in spite of this, or perhaps because of it, I'm determined to get back the pieces of my life that have been missing for so long. That even though the crap might keep on happening I do have a choice about where I focus my energy. And where I want to focus my energy is on the things that are going to move me forward in life, not keep me stuck in the shit-storm.

• Things like painting, making and blogging - I want to be doing lots more of those good things again.
• Healthy stuff - riding my bike, cooking, sleeping well, working on personal goals.
• Getting out of the house more. It feels like I've been cooped up for so long.
• Hanging out with friends and creative peeps - I've recently returned to the Northern Craft Bonanza {NCB}, which I founded in 2009, after a very long hiatus.
• Making plans for the future - it's felt impossible to do anything but put one foot in front of the other for most of the last 12 months.
• Remembering/relearning how to be a dreamer again. When you're living in a shit-storm you forget how to dream. Having hope starts to feel too risky.

And then once I'd made the decision, almost immediately something shifted. I'm of course wondering if by changing my attitude everything feels different, but there really does seem to have been some subtle environmental shift. The clould that's been hanging over my life for so long seems to have moved ever so slightly. Things feel easier, I've been enjoying moments of synchronicity and interesting little messages from the universe.

I don't know if life is going to settle down. I hope so. But it certainly feels like something, somehow has shifted. And that, my friends, is a damn good thing.